Hey Erin, how’s unemployment?

Very well, thank you for asking. There might have been days where I’m bored out of my wits but I’d rather be bored than be under work-related stress, if I do say so myself.

Hi, hello, I’m Erin.

The scarcity of new posts here is all due to the fact that I have gotten into reading, again. Reading has always been my favourite pastime ever since I was little but I grew up; I stopped buying books (can we just talk about how expensive books are in Malaysia?) and I stopped doing activities that take more than 5 minutes of my attention. I have lost so many years of not immersing myself with books and I think that’s a total loss on my part.

I have been unemployed for a good month now. I should have gotten at least a couple of posts up on my blog as I have planned for January (I have an editorial calendar in my digital planner) which I did not follow through because of reason mentioned earlier. I read quite a lot of romance books courtesy of BookTok and BookTube recommendations. Getting back into it really brings me back to the days where I used to read a lot. I’m a hopeless romantic, what can I say…

What else have I been doing? Oh! I cook now. I have never been into cooking before. All throughout my marriage (we’re coming into year five now, time sure does fly!), my husband did the majority of the cooking with the minority being me cooking once in three months LOL. My kids are both in school with my eldest in preschool and my youngest in playschool which I’m really grateful for because I have the daytime all for and to myself. I’m enjoying the peace and quietness of the house that I usually got once in a while.

I spend my days doing house-related chores and cooking dinner. In between those time, I watch Netflix, YouTube videos, and catching up on my TV shows. I enjoy being able to keep the house clean and the laundry all washed and neatly folded and dinner prepared for my kids when they arrive home from school. It makes me happy and content. I have enough rest during the day that I care for my kids with love and one hundred percent of me and not because they are just one of my responsibilities that I need to check off at the end of the day.

To look back on my recent years, I went through two pregnancies in 2020 and 2021. Being a stay-at-home mom with two babies 13 months apart was driving me quite literally insane. I was not in a good mental state that when a job opportunity arose, I grabbed it faster than you can say ABC. To be a working mom while also caring for growing toddlers after work ends was an atrocity on its own. Being a SAHM was lonely but working mom? I was overstimulated. It was just too much for me. I am an introvert; I enjoy my own company and I certainly do not appreciate the stimulations from work place and also my kids when they are now in their throwing-tantrum-for-absolute-nothing phase. I had my down moments that I was not proud of. My kids deserved a better version of myself than what I was giving them before.

Am I going to stay being a housewife indefinitely? No, absolutely no. While I love my current situation, I am for sure would like to work again. This unemployment situation is only temporary and I would like very much to make something of myself other than just a mom. What I want to pursue is still a big question mark for me but I’m figuring it out as I go. I believe God will lead me to the best version of myself I can possible be. I just need to see the sign and follow what my heart tells me to.